I told her that I just wanted to be sure that this is what she wanted. I wanted to make sure that it just wasn’t because she was vulnerable and would regret it. She then really threw me for a loop. Tara told me that she is bi sexual and has always had feelings for me. She just never mentioned it to me because she knew of my religious beliefs and she did not want me to hate her. She said that she used to watch me sleep at night and wanted to have a romantic relationship with me. This was the real reason that now in her time of need she turned to me.When I told her the other night that I was lesbian she knew that it was now or never. If we left here without her making a move on me, her true feelings for me would never be known. As the day went on her desire for me exploded and tonight she wanted to make love to me. She didn’t think I would stop the kiss and when I did she freaked out. She was going to pack up and leave that night.I laid down on her lap crying. For a decade,. I feel horrible for being so inconsiderate. As i tell him about my afternoon, and why i did what i did, i realize it was stupid of me not to at least call him. This only increases my misery. He commands me to look at Him. His face looks pretty grim. mine must be pathetic - blotchy from crying, and tear-streaked. He tells me that He was worried, and about the calls He made trying to track me down, i feel even worse. He tells me that i have never really disobeyed him in all the time we've been together. a little impertinent, perhaps, from time to time, but He permits this. Today, however, i have disobeyed him twice in one day. Therefore, i will be punished twice in one day. My first offense was not meeting Him for lunch as He asked, and i did not even call or anything and left Him worrying for hours. The punishment for this will be physical and painful. The other, more serious offense is that i doubted Him - i did not have faith in him, or O/our relationship. When He collared me, He.
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